If you don’t know about the book the “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I strongly encourage you to get a copy. I will be covering most of his categories here, but only with how they relate to boudoir photos.
Chapman says that there are five ways people express or understand love. We should always be suspicious when we hear someone boil the entirety of a complex human emotion to the finitude of a few cases. In this case though, I think Chapman covered most of the bases.
His argument boils down to something pretty simple. We are fluent in one, maybe two areas of expressing our love, but do not understand or easily communicate in the other areas. This, he claims, is a cause for relationship issues between couples. In later books this is expanded to kids and employees.
The five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
How does this apply to boudoir photos?
Some women get boudoir photos done as a gift for their significant other. This is a great idea, and you can easily see how this would apply as the Gifts love language. But what about the other languages?
If getting a boudoir session was just about the gift, it wouldn’t be so impactful on the recipient or the giver.
Words of Affirmation
Hearing your significant other say you look beautiful can be uplifting and make you feel good about yourself. That is, unless you don’t believe what they’re saying. Then, no matter how beautiful your partner thinks you are, it falls flat. This is where getting intimate photos done can help.
As you work with a good professional photographer, they should be building your confidence. Not in a way that makes you feel like you are being hit on or mocked, but in a genuine manner. This is as much for your benefit as it is for theirs. If you don’t feel beautiful, your pictures won’t look beautiful. And the best photographers do not want to give their clients bad photos.
Guys are visual creatures. If they weren’t, the porn industry wouldn’t be as prolific as it is. While boudoir photography isn’t porn, it does have a certain sex appeal to it. Giving a photo book with your custom boudoir photos can increase the intimacy between you and your partner. This isn’t and shouldn’t be viewed as a solution to relationship issues, but as a tool to draw the two of you closer together.
Obviously the photographer should never touch you during your session except in very rare circumstances. Brushing a single hair out of your face after posing you or adjusting a piece of fabric which seems to move when you try to adjust it might be acceptable, but it must be okay with you first. This is where professionalism is key.
One of my wife’s love languages is quality time. However, her and I have different understandings of what quality time is. For her, if we are sitting in the same room , that can be quality time. Me, like some other people, need to be engaged with the person in a shared activity. Boudoir can be a great way to increase quality time.
Looking over your boudoir photos together and talking about how they make you feel can deepen your understand of each other.
Sometimes, quality time is about you. When you take the time to get dressed up, have your hair and make-up done, and dress in some sexy clothing, you will feel better about yourself. Just because it may be a gift for someone else doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it too. This could also be a prelude to a romantic evening at your favorite spot.
Acts of Service
Some people feel loved when people do things for them. Washing the dishes, cleaning, etc. An intimate photo session may act as a good little reminder for all the hard work you put in over the year. Depending on if your partner knows you are getting photos done, you can use it as a way to get some of your “honey-do list” done.
This list should show you how important hiring a boudoir photographer to capture your beauty should be not just to your mental health, but also for the health of your relationship.